I'm signed up for June 7. 3 weeks. I wish they would let you just make an appointment and get started because I was all jazzed about it.
Now? not so much.....
I'm in the middle of a massive pity party. The weight I lost while I was sick is now back. And no wonder with the way I eat. Yesterday for instance, greek yogurt when I got to the office. Good and filled me up.
But less than an hour later I was in the shop getting a pack of chocolate donuts. Then for lunch I met my quilty buds for our usual Thursday lunch at a mexican restaurant. Combo burrito green, a big one. But I didn't hog out on chips. Then went to the grocery store and bought NutterButter (not the cookie ones, the ones with pb creme inside) along with my "normal" stuff. Came back to the office for a while and ate THE.ENTIRE.BAG.
WTF???? At least I managed to eat somewhat sensibly for supper.....
I know getting the band won't make me loose weight by itself. I've got to get it together. I thought I was finally getting my head together and so I knew the band was the right thing to do now. But I don't. If I don't get rid of this "poor me" attitude I'll never get healthy.
I wish I could raise my leg up high enough to kick myself in the ass......
I've also come across lots of blogs this week with people having lots of trouble with sliming, PBing and have to do liquids for days and days. This too has me freaking out. I want something to help me with portion control, not have to give up food period. On top of being kinda f'd up in my head, I LIKE to eat. It is the only time DH and I sit down together without being bombarded with work stuff. It's our social life. Everything revolves around eating.....
ughhh how the hell am I ever going to do this?
Sorry to be such a Debbie-Downer today. I'll try to do Draz's BOYC after I get back from the bank and stop whining.....
Ok...take a deep breath...count to ten...whatever it takes and then say it with me...THIS SUCKS!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, there's no way out of it. You are not being debbie downer, you are being real. Don't apologize for trying to get through a tough phase of this process. Yes, "they" do everything "they" can to derail your intentions.
Last meal syndrom is very real. You won't be giving up food and more than likely, you will be able to eat most everything, if not all, of what you eat right now. I had a span two weeks ago or so when I couldn't eat ribeye. Then, a week later, it was fine. I've been able to eat rice (a special treat for me, odd as that may sound) and bread just fine - although slower than used to was. And slower equates to wanting less because I'm enjoying it now.
Please don't beat yourself up for eating nutterbutters and chocolate donuts. See the situation for what it is, take a deep breath and own your choice. You will get past this. But this phase you are in is rough. We all have been there in some way or another and you are free to rant and rail against this process as much as you need to to get through it.
Thank you. I've been putting off doing a blog post all week because I didn't want to just whine. Then as the week went on my anxiety level just went up and up. And you know, once I wrote it down it kinda took some of the weight off (emotional weight that is). My hope is that someday I'll be able to help someone thru this awful period like your comment, and most of the blogs I've found, just did me.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to band land!
ReplyDeleteWe all have slip ups. You can still do this. The waiting game sucks. We've all been there so we understand and don't judge!
ReplyDeleteHUGS!
I think I mentioned to you before that there is both good and bad to blogging so early in the process. You are going to get so much information - some will scare you and some will exhilarate you. I've read a lot about PBing too, but usually you only need to do liquids for a couple of days til your band settles down and it does wonders for weight loss. Once you make the decision to get the band, it really sucks to have to wait, but at least our insurance covers the surgery, which is wonderful.
ReplyDelete